damn this freaking feeling

i always thought you could change. i thought you would change. i was wrong indeed. very wrong. i was deceived by your lies which i thought were genuinely true. i thought you will never break this already broken heart but you proved otherwise. was everything planned? am i part of an act your putting on? i too am a human, a person with feelings. should i be forgiving and put this past behind? ive tried and am trying hard. but i still couldnt succeed in doing so. why must i be tortured this way? when every single tear falls, this heart bleeds even more. i reminisce every moment we had together. its hard to let go when the feelings never want to fade away. whats the use of sweet talks which arent meant to be true at all? whats the use of love confessions when you know youll break me down even more? i was foolish. i was naive. i gave in and you took those chances for granted. maybe this could be a retribution for me for being an egoistic and self centred bitch that i was before? but ive learnt my lesson. i vowed to be good. i want to be a normal person. i want to feel and treasure the feeling of being in love; all pure and genuine. why can others have all this and not me? is it too much to ask for? i guess it is.


so here i am vowing not to fall into that love trap anymore. thus, i shall seal this heart till it is prepared to accept again.


p.s: do not agitate me.