sucked

Im pinned down
By social expectations
I dun have a destiny
People create it for me
I follow
Every instruction given
Like a dead doll
Never being cared for
I breathe
The air dat surrounds me
So tasteless, dull n fake

Lifes like shit. People never see the good side of u. They keep complaining about the wrong doings u made. Dont they noe dat human beings are not perfect n never will be. All they noe is to criticize n never encourage. They never give u a chance to show ur true self to them. They mould u to become someone who u really arent. They forced u to lie to urself. All they do is to push u so hard dat u forget about urself. U forget about all the wrong things they make u do. All u remember is u do it for them.

Im feeling fcuked up. My lifes terrible. When u talk so much, they reprimanded u to shut up. But when u shut the fcuk up, they question u like u are some criminal. It never pays to be nice but ull get retribution when u do anything bad. Oh shit. Lifes never fair. When u try to change urself to be a better person, the society just cant accept it. They never will. They never encourage such things. Cos to them, ull never be nice. U are always dat antagonist in life.

I am really feeling very lost. I dunno wheres my path. I lead a boring life. All u want to do is to cry ur hearts out. But u just couldnt even how hard u force urself. U still cant. People are frens indeed. Frens like cookies. One time they r there, then they vanish the next moment. N parents arent of much help. All they do is nag 24 hours a day. Even criminals get special treatment cos there are people who listen to their problem. But me. Who would want to listen to a nobody like me. I dun own anything in this world. Not even my life. I have no control over anything. Everything is controlled by the society. This is the mistake of not being able to decide. N I hate it. I have no direction. Nothing.

People dun care n they never will. Even if they do, its not me they cared about. Ah. Fcuk.
But then all I need now is someone to listen. Listen to me anyone. Just lend me ur ears n listen. Dats all im asking for. Not much.. just listen...

Well, I think I might as well live life to the fullest and not demand. I should go on with the flow like I used to and enlarge my social circle. Lets just mingle around and not get too serious about anything. Cause life is about learning and not deciding things at that point of time. Im sick and tired of regretting every single decision I made in life. I just cant stay happy with what Ive decided. Maybe, Im a perfectionist. Who knows? Im extremely fickle. I take things for granted. I dont think before I decide because after deciding I will regret. And I hate the fact that I tend to regret over matters that actually affect my life deeply. Doing things systematically isnt my cup of tea. Im a last minute person. Thus, I do things without thinking of its consequences and whether my decision will affect anyone.

arh life.. when its just getting better, it turns out to be much worst than before.. damn.