mnet 20's choice

ok fine im a little back dated. but i feel so lucky yesterday.
i switched on to mnet and i watched mnet 20's choice.
i didnt even know what it was all about.
at first i thought it was a splish splash kind of award giving ceremony.
but when i watched closer. i saw super junior and the rest of the artistes.
then halfway thru i kept hearing Dong Bang Shin Ki's name being announced.
they had to give an award. after which, i thought they'll leave for taiwan.
since i dont understand korean, i prayed hard that they'll stay
& at least perform something on stage.
alas, they did. they performed O Jung Ban Hap.
i got crazy and tried taking pictures of them using the camera.
but they were moving so fast that i gave up.
so here are pictures that i manage to find over the internet.
credits are all on the pictures. (thanks to those who are able to caps them)
((:

during the giving out of the award. they were looking hot.













& of course my baby.


& of course albino dwaeji's baby


& of course pink dwaeji's baby


& of course andeera's baby


* not that i dislike max. i love him. its just that i couldnt find a nice photo of him. ((:

& during their performance









alright that's done. back to revise procurement.
man, i feel so sick right now.

yappari

just as i thought.
i hate you.
you make me feel like fucking shit.

i shouldnt be blogging.
i should be studying.


im dismissing myself now.

if i could then i would

truthfully i am really really scared right now.
i do not have the confidence to sit for later's paper.
i am afraid i might screw it up because i am not confident enough.
cause if i screw it up, i'll be devastated.
if i get devastated, i'll lose my mood.
and if i lose my mood, i'll lose my appetite.
if i lose my appetite, ima wont be happy cause im meetin her later.
then when ima's not happy, i'll be even more depress.
if i get depress, i do silly things.
when i do silly things, i forget about the world.

& i dont want all that to happen.
above all, i just need a little strength to pull through.


i hope later's paper will be an easy one.
i hope later's paper will be based on logic and common sense.
please help me. i plead.


omg, i am so nervous.

stay with me tonight

i think i am crazy. chulmang crazy!
just because i didnt get to purchase my very own yunho's keychain.
i bought & pasted loads of yunho n DBSK's photos on my wallies.
((:

i was so bored last sunday that i played around with photoshop.
i managed to make 2 icons and a lappie wallie. im delighted.



NO STEALING PLEASE!

i switched on tvants hoping to feel lucky today.
& yea, i was lucky. KMTV was showing loads of mv's.
i felt so jakun. i took manymany pictures.
so today's post will be of manymany pictures la.
((:

there were See Ya, FT Island, Black Pearl, SNSD,
CSJH, T-Max, Minwoo, Storm, Son Ho young, StarKing's 40 yr old DBSK.
KMTV Music Video Mix Party Shindong Green Apple Sound Dj.

FT Island

Lee Hongki


Hongki & Minhwan

Choi Minhwan

So Nyeo Shi Dae



Cheon Sang Ji Hee




Lee Min Woo


SUJU KM IDOLWORLD
where Eunhyuk got pranked




DBSK - HiYaYa



















*currently, SM TOWN's Let's Go On a Vacation is on KMTV!

OMG! i should be studying right now. i feel so lazy. aigooo. ):

its never ending.

I believed time would solve everything
Was that in itself a foolish belief?
Now, I want to just go with the flow of things
It doesn't matter to you anymore

i cannot stop myself from being a sensitive person, can i?
no one ever said that when it comes to crying,
theres a time to do it, right?
so there i was feeling ever-so-down
not being able to concentrate
on things that are suppose to be pertinent.
but ive managed it well.

thanks to people like naz n hailwa n atiq.
thanks to having a sister like izzati.
im feeling so much better right now.
no more carrying the heavy heart.
everyone scream hooray!
(:

i must keep telling myself that
everything's gonna be alright.
even tvxq say those things often.
so with yunho around, why should i worry right?
((:



LOVE IN THE ICE
(it just suits the mood)

冷たいその手君のせいじゃない
It's not your fault those hands are cold
幼き日々ほった傷抱え
Holding on to the hurts from the past

誰かを愛すること恐れてるの
Afraid to love someone
言葉の裏側背を向けて
Turning your back against the true meaning of the story

抱きしめた心が氷のように
Like ice, the heart that is hugged
そっと溶け出す
slowly melts

誰もが誰かに愛されるために
To be loved by someone or whoever
このように命を煌かせるのさ
It makes life shine like this

それがもしも僕なら
If it was me
もう一度君の心を
I would make your heart once again
永久の優しさで暖めるよ
warm with eternal tenderness

運命の悪戯
Fate's play
心を痛めても
Even if it makes your heart hurt
その涙の先には
At the end of the tear

一筋の光が
A stream of light
闇の中舞い降りて
Comes down from the dark
僕らは気づくさ
We can know it

苦しいほどに強く感じや得る
We can feel the strong painful feeling
人の温もり
A person's warmth

誰もが持ってる悲しみや孤独
Sadness and loneliness that everyone has
癒してもらえる場所探している
Looking for the place to recover
そう君にはその場所がここにあるさ
Yes for you that place is here
恐れないでもう迷わないで
Don't worry don't hesitate anymore
僕が守る
I will protect you

切ないほど美しい愛だから
Because it is a beautiful love as it is sad
儚いほど麗しいこの時を
This beautiful time as it is ephemeral

誰もが誰かに愛されるために
To be loved by someone or whoever
このように命を煌かせるのさ
It makes life shine like this
それがもしも僕なら
If it was me
もう一度君の心を
I would make your heart once again
永久の優しさで暖めるよ
warm with eternal tenderness




i love reading the kanji characters instead of the romanized ones.
tak sia2 aku blaja jepun, ok. hehe!
i can never get tired of listening to it.
beautiful vocals, beautiful meaning.
no wonder i am very much in love with TVXQ.

gosh! stop being emo for once, please.

im so hungry
i feel like talking a stroll downstairs
& make my way to the pasar malam
& buy myself a Ramly burger.
aish! *i must tahan this craving*


the more i try to not blog about what i feel,
the more i want to blog about what im feeling.
but im afraid that when i write about what im feeling,
i'll hurt other people's feelings.
& i dont like that.
so i think i better keep my bloody mouth shut
& i better not type things that i shouldnt be typing.


oh yes.
as much as i wanna close down this blog,
i cant bring myself to do that.
cause this personal space of mine has sentimental value.
i keep most of my memories here.
thus it will remain as it is.

[ignore the above post for i wasnt really in a good state of mind]


here comes the real part. hehe.


i so wanna get my hands on myboy own-designed tee. ((:


Take my hand, hold me tight, and take a rest in my heart
so that you might feel the heat simmering in.



whenever im feeling down, u're always there.
though not physically,
but the thought of u will always cheer me up.
Thank you, yunho.
*i feel crazily fanatic here & i dont care*



KAU! MACAM PROPOSE SPEECH PULAK!!!
OK ENOUGH.

tak ade tajuk

aku nak blog dlm bahase melayu.
sebab hati aku sebak.
aku sedih.
aku tak tau ape nak bikin.

aku tak tau kenape dorang buat aku camni.
aku tau aku tak sebagus yang dorang sangka ah.
tapi aku pon manusia ape.
bukan sekali sey camni.
da berkali2 and aku da penat pretend aku tak rase ape2.

padahal hati ni sakit gile.
hati ni macam dicucuk2.


i feel so melayu blogging in malay.
it happens when im not in a good state of mind.
i just want to disappear.
i want to be alone but i dont want to be alone.
aku confuse.
damn.


apparently, bloggin in malay doesnt make me feel less depress.
oh god, please give me the strength to carry on.
i feel so weak.

For me, who can't love you & cant help but hate you

morning presentation was a pain in the ass.
i am so afraid that i might have peed in my pants.
so unglam especially in that formal wear.
whatever it is, i hope i can clear the module.
no failing grade sir, i plead.

kimochi = feeling (in japanese)
& i shall blog about that everyday
since my life isnt like
a box of chocolates and a bed of roses.

nothing particular happened the whole week.
thus, there wasnt a particular reason to blog.

everything seems so mundane.
its never the same anymore.
its like things happen when it isnt suppose to.
im so tired of acting nonchalant.
im so tired of pretending i like being this way.

i just want what i lost.
thats it.
nothing more.

gosh! reading fanfics is torture.
i want to live as a fictional character.
some of them made me so emotional
that i wet my pillow while hugging it.
tears cant seem to stop flowing.
pathetically, as i was reaching the climax,
the page stopped loading.
oh crap.


damn.
i want to do so many things right now.
i want to list the things i want to do right now.
but i just cant be bothered because
no one cares. (:




ah nandes. oh, soudesne.
it was hard not to notice.